behold, it is i, the evil social justice warrior, here to ruin your fun by pointing out that you’re being kind of an asshole
I NEED THESE.
Indebted to onlyannie for this.
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
"Now, it seems quaint to remember that women were excluded from competitive marathon running in part out of a fear that their bodies couldn’t handle the strain."
No, QUAINT is really not the term I’d use.
EVERYONE NEEDS TO WATCH INSIDE AMY SCHUMER
THIS IS PERFECT.